Your story is not complete, but deserves to be heard. Your story may look nothing like mine. I know former alcoholics who were completely healed of this terrible disease and have not had a drink since. That is not my story, and I address that in one of my post. If you wish to post anonymously that is perfectly understandable. Use this page to share your experience, strength and hope or to just get real about where you are in your life right now.
I started out in life, slowly absorbing the gospel. By the age of 10, I was sure that I was saved. Then the backloading began. In two years, I was trying to make sure I was truly saved. I was repenting of my sins in tears, and “repent of sin” did not yet roll off my tongue.
An adult, I got momentarily absorbed into the literature of Armstrongism. But that damage was minimal compared to the identity politics of persecution, from Wurmbrand. All the red flags were there: contemplative prayer and new age. Even Word of Faith without the prosperity. Worst of all, if you are not a martyr, you are not a Christian. Michael Brown agrees. He calls grace a “microwave gospel”. It was oppressive.
I listened to Hank Hanegraaff. He was not much help. I was confused by politics and race crap. Church became boring. The leaders became misleaders, the followers became zombies, and the church fathers became my tormentors. Mother Teresa kept the poor poor. Wurmbrand died a Catholic. Tom White was a pederast. Voice of the Martyrs raped Bokkko Haram victims. Isaac Wusu is part of the swamp. Hanegraaff told me that the prosperity gospel would never be accepted in a third world country. He was wrong: fake pastors teach exactly that. It’s even taught in China, so much for that.
When I reached the meaning of life, I realized that all the leaders I had looked up to had misled me on the gospel. I started living by grace. I searched for answers to nagging questions and went places, especially online. Catholic and Protestant are like two evil, corrupt political parties. I picked up phraseology from various countries to describe the two sides of the evil coin: jarg i jango, divide and conquer, controlled opposition, useful idiots, alphabet soup with the acronyms, the New Word Order, the Cabal. I had been RINOlooted by lordshippers up the wazoo until I found an adequate defense of the grace position that I had once understood. I have not found a pastor who keeps it real like Ralph Yankee Arnold. Two years later, I am now 44.
I once met a Trump supporter who told me I had to sell all my possessions in order to be saved. And Trump doesn’t sell his. Jesus had come to town, and Kanye was no longer cool. It’s a reptilian jesus. So I told him to go espouse liberation theology, because it follows.
I remembered missionary stories from Africa. My mom had studied to be a missionary and was turned down. I now wondered what it was like to be in Africa, surrounded by lordshippers, with not one sound church in sight. Last summer, I met some African friends on the social networks. One, who is from Kenya, told me he avoids church like the plague. I met Pakistani friends who fled to Nigeria, and they understand grace. They have heard of Ron Shea. I was following the YouTube channel of a Nigerian immigrant, and she exposed Jimmy Taylor, a violent missionary who preached Lordship Salvation in Uganda. His insults included the N word. It was an ugly picture of the oppressiveness of the false gospel I had escaped.
I only recently absorbed the meaning of digital thinking. Wurmbrand hates it. An immigrant is shocked when she comes to America and experiences uninterrupted electricity. Adeola Fayehun says electricity is a right. Teresa says, stay poor. Adeola said that Jesus is enough and added nothing to it. Wurmbrand added 80 years of torture. What a contrast. Now I know who my friends are.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jason, I too have found it difficult to find the gospel of grace in many churches today. Thank you for your story!
Thank you for your blog Brady,It has been a blessing…And Jason your right about Ralph Yankee Arnold.Amazing Minister of the incredible Grace of God.